Let’s join forces, we’ve got our guns and horses
I know you’ve been burned, but Mini-Scribes is a lesson learned…

Q: Dear Scribes,
   I want to introduce my nephew to the wonderful world of Banjo-Kazooie. As he’s only ten months old, he’s a little bit too young for the games. I set about searching the internet for some kind of soft/plush toy but managed to find nothing. Did any Banjo-Kazooie soft toys exist at any point, and if so is there any way I can get my hands on one?
   Dean Jones

A: There were definitely plush toys at one point – at two points actually, once with Banjo and Mumbo Jumbo to support the original N64 Banjo games, and again featuring the Nuts & Bolts Banjo model a couple of years ago. Not sure whether the latter was widely released, and the Nintendo-licensed N64-era ones are relegated to the eBay circuit nowadays. If we had some gathering dust at the back of our tat cupboard, we’d send one your way… but nope. We did find some out-of-date, slightly runny Chewits if you want those instead.

Q: Dear Rare,
   Are there plans to make a new platformer/adventure game some time soon? Similar maybe to Conker and Banjo, but something new? That’d be cool beans.
   Alexander Van Broeck

A: Why do you hate Conker and Banjo so much, man? Suggesting we make a game that’s basically the same as the ones they were in, but refuse to let either of them be in it. So cold. Well, it’s all academic for now – with us ‘doing’ Kinect at the moment, we’re content to sit back and let other developers supply the required market share of platforming jiggerypokery.

Q: Hey Rare. Long time fan here. I know the exact words that come to mind when an asker says “old-time fan.” “Oh no. Not another crazed fanboy asking for a new Banjo/Conker/GoldenEye/whatever again!” you probably think. Well, though I WOULD like another game in those series, that’s not what my question is covering.
   Simply put, my question is, when do you think we can expect an announcement of the fact that Rare is officially developing a new game? Of anything? Because the last Rare game released was Kinect Sports, and that was released five months ago (that’s almost half a year, Rare!) I honestly don’t care what game you might be developing, as long as it exists. So there.
   I mean, can we at LEAST expect you to make an appearance at E3 2011? Thanks.
   Brad the Man

A: Thing is, as the games get bigger and the tech gets more ambitious, it takes more and more people to drag a single project squawking hysterically across the finish line. The downside is the passing into history of those days with three or four publicly announced games on the slate; the upside is that each one gets more attention and is generally a bigger deal.
   So while a trumpeting statement of Rare’s presence at E3 or any other event would be premature, unconfirmed and make headlines that would trigger stress nosebleeds all over the keyboards of Microsoft PR people, big trade show reveals are most likely to be the way forward. Keep ‘em peeled. And thanks for specifying your gender. Could have been awkward if we’d started flirting.

Blast from the Past: October 15, 2003

Q: Dear Scribes,
   Just out of curiosity, is there a secret level in DK64? There’s been one in every other Donkey Kong game, so why not now? Also, in Angry Aztec, when you’re walking in the tunnel that leads you to the place where the big tower is, one of the panels on the wall is unusually different to all the others. You can’t see the bricks as well on it and it’s brighter. It has been driving me nuts since 1999. Please tell me what is up with that?
   Sumpthing

A: When I asked the DK64 team about a Lost World just after the game was released, the answer I got was “it’s up your bottom”. When I asked an ex-team member just now, the answer had progressed to something far more intriguing: “it’s up the beaver’s bottom”. Hope that helps. Oh, and any panel discrepancies in the Angry Aztec tunnels are down to something our artists call ‘texturing’.

Got a question for Scribes/Mini-Scribes? Send it here. We reserve the right to scrutinise it intensely through our monocles over tiffin, or spill hot tea on its trousers and instruct the butler to send it on its way. Over the weeks you’ve seen the sort of questions we’re always getting asked. Be a love and ask a new one, would you?